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Why Opposites Attract


Purpose of magnetic relationships

There is a quality in many relationships where it is clear that “opposites attract”.  It is called magnetism – just as the opposite poles in magnets are drawn to each other.  But then what?  Look at how those magnets stick together like glue!  Is that a healthy relationship or is that a co-dependent relationship?  Perhaps there is one particular kind of relationship where it is necessary to have this magnetism and that is where two people are drawn together to create a mutative being.  Mutation can only happen when two very different people, with very different genes produce a child.  Mutation is a necessary part of our evolution.

But what about raising that child?  In our current society families live in small units on top of each other or in housing estates within their own small units.  Alternatively they live in huge houses surrounded by fences and bodyguards; or somewhere in between the two. Children tend to be raised by the mother and father or caregiver, and not by the community.  School has taken over from the community to fill children’s minds with information that doesn’t matter and impose rules that keep them under control.  So those opposites attract, produce children, and then are forced to stay together in cramped conditions to raise those children. 


In a more natural society where “community” means living and interacting with the tribe, then those opposites will attract to bring in the new mutation but not be compelled through external expectation and social conditioning to stay together to bring up that child. A community that is involved with each other brings up each other’s children and it doesn’t matter whether or not the mother and father were “legally” married in the first place. There is always an element of love in this kind of “potentially mutative” relationship.  Strong attraction and desire are always translated as passion which can also be elements present in love.  But it may not be the kind of love that is meant to last forever.

I frequently have the children of other families in my home because of my very sociable youngest daughter. It is how communities should be.  I share my ideals with them as I do with my own children.  It gives a much broader perspective to their lives than to learn from structures within a single family “ideal” or from a school curriculum where children are taught only what the government wants them to know.  

Like Likes Like

To be with someone who is most like you is the right person to spend a lifetime with.  But someone most like you is not the ideal person to father your children and allow in mutative beings. Is this a dilemma?  Only if you continue to subscribe to relationships that are past their “sell by” date that have produced the necessary children to bring in those new mutations.

Even in my own relationships, I can see clearly that the father of my children is too “opposite” to who I am, and that very soon after my last child was born, we separated.  It was not devastating and I was not unhappy about it.  It was just something that naturally had to happen, and I allowed that process to take place.  Social expectation and the rules of our current structure made divorce a difficult and very expensive process, but it was still worth it.

I moved onto the next relationship which was “like likes like”.  Graeme and I are alike. We’re both Aries, fiery people, and are both passionate about the same things. We also have our separate areas of interest which we are passionate about.  We agree on things.  We like each other and we have aspects of our human design that we like in each other too.  Understanding the best environment to live in is one of those aspects, and we happen to have the same ideal environment.  It helps us to meet the right people and live the right kind of lives.

Relating to Each Other

We are here to relate to each other, to work together, to share life together; to be tribal.  When we shut ourselves away in our own homes cut-off from the world we cannot function fully.  We need the “other” to do what is needed in our work and in our private lives.  The only thing we should do alone is sleep, and that is because it gives those aspects of us that look to communicate and relate to another, a rest from the energy of that other.  Being in our own aura while we sleep replenishes us and we feel more refreshed and ready for the day ahead when we can carry out our functions correctly and with the right energy.

What I am describing is the difference between a loving relationship and a sexual relationship.  A purely sexual relationship is an instinctive mutative imperative.  It’s the genes being attracted to each other.  “My genes want to combine with your genes to produce something that could have incredible potential”.  A lifetime or longer term relationship should be with your best friend and ally, especially if you want to fulfil your real purpose.

Being In Legal Relationship Serves the Government

Not all of us are designed to stay in one relationship forever.  The Western culture has been organised by mental beings who want to know “who is where” and “what they are doing”.  They want to be in control of what are potentially “their assets”.  We all have a value to the government and so they need to know this information.  Keeping us in family units in small boxes and giving us all numbers suits their methods.  So we are encouraged to get married, stay married and told that divorce is bad for the family unit.  When people are not able to be themselves it is very difficult to function in any relationship.

There is energy pushing us to wake up now and see the truth.  This planetary energy is also pushing us to be ourselves, to shake off the old ways, the conditioned behaviour patterns and just be who we really are.  Living as we should is enlightening, and allows us to be free from the out-dated beliefs and concepts that we have grown up with.  Not everyone has the courage to break out of the mould of conditioned behaviour, but it can only hold us back.  We have no-one to blame but ourselves if we don’t at least dare to experiment with the idea.

I choose freedom.

Phylipa Dinnen

Human Design Professional




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